To whom it may concern,
I am everything you love and approve of, all that you would have a human to be, the perfect embodiment of the good person, the nice person. I am nearly perfect; my faults are easily overlooked and are only a part of me because we have to say that 'no one is perfect.' But truly, you have no reason to suspect that the results of my self-evaluation, results that I am inviting you to believe, are inaccurate. Look at my smile, its genuine, I swear...oops...didn't mean to say 'swear'. Meant to say 'promise.' Even if the smile is not genuine you should appreciate my effort to make you feel comfortable as we pass each other in the hall. In other words, at least I am friendly despite the shallowness of our conversation. The ocean is too deep; it has too much water we have never swam in before; it has too many unnamed villians waiting to swallow us whole. Lets stay in the puddles that remain when the tide goes down. Anyway, back to your perception of me, you would do well to keep that ivory-tower-talk about 'human depravity' in a separate category from the one you keep 'real people' in. And you know I am a real person. You have helped me to become one. Thank you for all the disapproving looks you gave me when I talked about uncomfortable subjects in ways that were not identical to the way the pastor speaks on Sunday morning.