Sunday, May 22, 2011
Its a Long Way From Timeout to Contemplative Prayer
The other day, my niece was put in time-out after disobeying her mom, despite her attempted escape from punishment in the form of saying "Obey...obey" meaning, 'now that I see that you are going to punish me I want you to know that I am going to obey, just don't go through with the punishment.' Naomi was forced to sit without playing with or saying anything for one minute which for my curious and energetic niece seems forever. It made me wonder if timeout is a helpful way to discipline. From early on, she will associate being still and silent for extended periods of time with punishment.
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3 comments:
Or will she associate the discipline of "still" and "silent" as a good means to move her heart away from sin? This is a question. I don't know.
I do know that gospel-centered discipline is suppose to address the heart not simply the behavior. This does not mean we don't use timeout. It simply means we use it redemptively instead of just punitively.
What are some alternatives?
Spanking?
Going to one’s room?
Just talking without any punishment?
I'm not against spanking (NOT beatings out of anger and out of control) I did it enough that you all knew you didn't want it and I rarely had to spank.
Being alone in your room in order to be punished? I definitely did not use that because I wanted you to associate good things with your room ... Like: time to go to bed, "Being still with the Lord" in your room (or anywhere else), playing in there or doing your school work. In other words, a peaceful place to get away from everyone and BE STILL.
Talking ... I've seen that modeled and I will say what I've seen has been a disaster.
So think on this and when you have children seek the Lord, read the experts, and decide for yourself.
Three things about discipline:
1. Be consistent (that includes husband, wife, extended family)
2. Discuss the reason for the punishment and what change needs to happen &
3. Love on the child
Just know that as long as you are being Godly in your discipline, we will always support you and your wife in whatever method you choose because we will always show/have great respect for you!
Wesley, I think that there is a transition that takes place between being very young and sittin in time out and sitting quietly with the Lord. As maturity takes place, time out is used less and less in a child. Also, I am sure that Elaine and David spend time with her, reading God's word that is a quiet and prayerful time. She will learn the difference as she grows in all aspects of her life.
Miss you and hope you are doing well.
Love you,
Judy
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